Friday, May 10, 2013

Let's Ruffle Some Feathers

No better way to start off a Friday than by ruffling some feathers!  Seriously, this post may make some people mad.  I keep seeing all the posts on Facebook about Abercrombie & Fitch.  Honestly, I really don't see the big deal and here's why.

All companies market and cater to a specific demographic.  This happens from the lowest end to the highest end.  It's what companies do.  There's nothing wrong with Abercrombie doing the same thing.  The main difference is that he spoke what the company thought. 

Now many of you may think I should be offended by his words.  I mean let's be honest, I definitely can't fit into his clothes.  I'm an extremely overweight, 37 year old mom.  I have curves and rolls and there's no way I could even come close to getting them on.  However, that hasn't always been the case.  I've been the really thin girl with an amazing body.  I fully know what 36-24-36 looks like.  I've been that.  I would love to be that again, but I'm lazy.  Fat people are lazy and have no self control.  Rarely are fat people fat because they have a medical condition.  They may have a medical condition that helps to keep them fat, but it is unlikely that the condition was the culprit in the beginning. 

If you've been to school you are fully aware that there are the cool kids and the not-so-cool kids.  It's a fact of life.  To deny that is ridiculous.  If you are going to act like that offends you and goes against everything you stand for, then I say let's go through your closet and the closets of your children.  I'm sure that you want to give your children the very best (in terms of what society says is the very best) and see nothing wrong with the purchase choices you have made.  I would agree, but doesn't having $100 sneakers and $50 jeans seem excessive when there are other options out there for a fraction of the price?  What's wrong with Walmart sneakers and clothes?  Does your 8 year old really need $250 Beats and a $200 iPhone?  Probably not, but the fact is that's what the cool kids have and you want your kids to have it too!  Is a $150 fleece North Face really necessary here in the great state of NC?  Are Sperry boat shoes a must when rarely do they actually see a boat?  Don't you think that those companies know they market to the cool kids?  They may not say it, but it's definitely their intention.

I love Victoria's Secret.  First of all, they are one of the best companies I have ever worked for.  They take care of their employees.  However, they have very few things in the store that I can wear.  I can't fit into a 38 DD bra.  It just doesn't work for me.  I have never seen a VS model with some meat on her bones and I never will.  Is that intentional that they hire rail thin models and only carry specific sizes?  Of course it is.  They may not verbalize it, but that's the intention.  It doesn't bother me at all.  There are many other companies that sell things I can't wear.  It's just the way life is!

I am a very principled person!  I say live and die by your principles.  If this is truly something that goes against your principles then stick to it.  Get your kids clothes at the cheapest place possible, trade in your nice car for something cheap that gets you from A to B, sell your Coach purse, use Cover Girl make-up and carry a flip phone.  Quit having your nails done and stop buying expensive kitchen stuff.  You can join the teams that everyone gets a trophy, play Upwards bball, and home school your children so that they are never aware of the differences in status.  I see no other way to get around it. 

For me, that's just not real life and I would doubt it is for you either.  What we must teach our children is that our value doesn't lie in these things.  Our value lies in the fact that we are God's children.  We teach them that in the end that's all that matters.  We teach them that throughout life we will have high points and low points and we must learn to be content in all of them.  Show them that love doesn't come from the dollar.  When we do this, they will learn what is most important!

Monday, April 8, 2013

Lebron James & The Kid

When LeBron left the Cavs I lost a lot of respect for him.  Prior to that I was a huge fan.  I had seen several interviews with him and I really liked him.  I was really turned off by the way he handled things with leaving the Cavs.  Now I'm not so arrogant to think that I know even a fraction of what is involved in the business of moving from one team to the next.  So I know there's a lot that I don't know.  People like to compare LeBron to Michael Jordan all the time.  Who's the better player?  I don't think there's an argument there worth discussing really!  I know Michael built a team where he was.  I think LeBron should have as well.  He didn't need a televised decision and all that went along with that, but he's a celebrity.  People love the drama of things and that's exactly what LeBron did.  He gave the whole basketball community, fans and players alike, some drama for a time.  OK - enough about all that and on to Friday night!

Friday night Brian and I went to the Bobcats game against the Heat.  We are season ticket holders so we go to a lot of games.  I love NBA basketball.  I know a lot of you don't for whatever reason and that's fine.  I do! I love to watch the benches of the teams.  It's exciting to me to see the players get into the game and I love to see how they interact and respond to the fans.  Sometimes I'll get so wrapped up in watching them that I miss parts of the game.  Friday night was no different.  LeBron and Dwayne Wade didn't play.  They entered the court late and were greeted with cheers from a packed crowd.  They took their seats behind the bench. I enjoyed watching them talk to each other and the other players.  The like watching the cool plays just like the rest of us.  Sometime in the second half of the game I saw LeBron motion for a security person to come to him.  The security guy came over and LeBron turned and pointed into the crowd.  I couldn't see what he said, I just saw him pointing.  I immediately thought someone was hassling him and he wanted the guy removed.  I was wrong!  The security guard went about 10 rows up and got this kid and brought him down to LeBron.  I saw LeBron introduce him to Dwayne and then LeBron got the kid a folded towel to sit on so he could see over the guys on the bench.  It was fun to watch them interact with him for the remainder of the game.  It was heartwarming to see all of this transpire.  I know that made that kid's night, week, month!  There was no one there videoing him do that.  He was just being kind.  He recognizes his position and influence and he was gracious to a fan.  That kid will never forget Friday night and neither will I. 

It's sad that we usually don't hear about celebrities doing things like that.  We usually just hear the bad.  I'm glad I was watching.  LeBron you have a fan again. 

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Finding The Light

This is just a copy of a blog I posted about a month ago.  For some reason it showed up as a new blog site for me instead of my regular blog site.  I wanted to be sure it stayed in my Welcome To Wherever You are blog site.  There's no new material, just copied and pasted for it to be in the right place.

It's been a really, really long time since I've blogged.  I've wanted to for quite awhile now, but I've really had to sit and think about what it is I wanted to say.  I have had a major life change in the past few weeks and I didn't want to blog about the details of that, especially not right after it happened.  I didn't want my anger in it all to affect my witness for the future.  I've had some time to step away from it.  I've known that it is important to step outside of any situation and get somewhere that allows me to look at the situation as a whole.  That's what I've been trying to do these past three weeks.   

I took a week off and didn't listen to any of my favorite pastors - something I usually did every week.  I also took a couple of weeks off from attending church.  I needed time away.  I needed time to let my anger subside.  I had been avoiding trying to connect to the hurt of it all - that's not my style.  It's easier for me to be pissed about the injustices of any situation instead of seeing the hurt that comes from those injustices.  I'm a very passionate person.  There are few things in life that I commit to doing without being fully engaged and passionate about it.  I just don't see the sense in living that way.  I say, "live full-out, that's the only way."  I've built protections in my own systems of thinking that make it easier for me to deal with the anger than for me to deal with the pain.  The problem with living that way is that it causes a disconnect from the full implications of any situation.  There are countless songs about being broken and dealing with hurt.  It's funny how it seems like those have been the songs that have randomly come on my radio when I've been in the car lately!  I think it's been God's way of trying to tell me that EVERYBODY deals with pain and brokenness.  EVERYBODY has to deal with real hurt at some point in their lives.  He has shown me, especially these past few days, that to be passionate about something, truly passionate and all that it encompasses, I can't just deal with the anger of it all.  I must also deal with the hurt and pain.

I went to two church services on Sunday.  Both services had great messages.  They both spoke to me in so many ways.  I felt God's hand on my shoulder encouraging me to soak in all that was being said. I was listening harder than I think I've ever listened hoping that there would be some words I could take and apply to my situation that would make it all better.  I was hoping that I would hear something, miracle words I guess, that would help it all make sense.  During the evening service I heard these words:  "Sometimes God has to consume our convenience so that we can be consumed with God."  WOW - those were the words.  Those were the words that I had been needing to hear.  They were not the words that I was expecting at all.  What I realized though, is that my convenience of my job was actually lessening the time I spent in real worship of God.  I had become so wrapped up in the business of it all because that was my job, that rarely was there time for worship.  That doesn't mean that I wasn't hearing the Word where I was, I most definitely was.  The Word was being preached and praises were being sung, but I wasn't worshiping.  I was finding it harder and harder to step away from the work of it all to embrace the worship of it.  Things have been becoming clearer and clearer over the past 72 hours.

Now to the hurt of it.  People say that the best way to work through problems is by making a pros and cons list.  I have been halfway doing that.  My cons list was short, not unimportant, but just really short.  My pros list was pretty long and most of it was fueled by the anger I have been feeling.  Sooooo...today God spoke to me in a way that I found myself completely broken.  I listened to a pastor that I listen to on a regular basis.  I heard his words of love for the next generation and how important it is for us as people and as a church to invest in the next generation.  I listened as he talked about being an Eli.  For those of you who read this and don't know about Eli and Samuel, read 1 Samuel 3.  As I listened to the message, I realized that the real hurt in all of it was the people I would no longer have an influence over.  I realized that this summer I won't be directing a youth camp for 60 kids that I love and care for.  I've poured my heart and soul into that camp for the past 3 years.  I'm good at that!  I love those kids.  I've found the balance between being their leader and being their friend which can oftentimes that's a hard balance to figure out.  I know my most fulfilling times are when I am with those kids.  I'm an Eli to them.  It hurts to know that someone else will fill my shoes there this summer.  Someone else will fill my shoes each Sunday morning standing on the patio welcoming people with a warm smile that comes from the heart.  This is my broken place.  They finished the service this week with a video and someone was singing the Pretenders song "I'll Stand By You."  I would guess that when Chrissie Hynde, Tom Kelly and Billy Steinberg wrote that song they never imagined that it would close a church service.  It spoke to me today.  I could hear Jesus saying those words to me. 

Now the real healing starts.  Today is a good day.  I have real perspective on the situation.  Am I still angry?  Of course I am.  Do I think the situation was handled in the way it should have been?  Of course I don't.  But do I see God in all of it?  I do today!  God has provided me hugs and encouragement everyday for the past three weeks.  People have reached out to me by the dozens.  Their words have meant so much to me.  I've felt affirmed in those words.  I've felt love in those words.  I am eternally grateful for the support and encouragement.  Life is good for the Porters.  People keep asking how we are.  We are good!  Life moves on and seasons come and go.  This season of my life has come to an end.  It's been like autumn ending and winter came these past three weeks!  They have been hell, but spring is here and new things are growing!  It's been sad, but now it's exciting!  You hear over and over that God doesn't give us more than we can handle.  I don't think that's true at all!  Bad things happen, hurt happens and through it all God wants us to need Him.  He wants us to turn to Him for help.  He wants us to realize we can't do it on our own.  It takes Him!  That's the sweet spot!  I hope all of you find the sweet spot!  I'll close with the lyrics to the Pretenders song.  I hope in some way it ministers to you as it did me!  Welcome to wherever you are! 

Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
'cause I've seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

So if you're mad, get mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I'm a lot like you
When you're standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
'cause even if you're wrong

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you

And when...
When the night falls on you, baby
You're feeling all alone
You won't be on your own

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you

I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

A Quick Thought

Tonight I was reading through my Facebook feed which is normal behavior for me.  I started reading through the posts and came across one from a friend of mine that had a ton of comments.  The topic was gay marriage.  I read through each comment.  There were posts supporting both sides.  A few people were yelling (you know-typing in all caps) at each other.  They called each other racist, which had nothing to do with the post.  From them, things got a little ridiculous, but the other comments were really good.  I finally responded (of course you know I can't keep my mouth shut!)  I thought I would copy those thoughts into my blog just in case anyone cared what I thought about it! So here you go:

So I wasn't going to weigh in, but you (I've left the names out) know me well enough to know that I can rarely keep my mouth shut so here's my two cents...I'll start by saying that I am a "born again Christian" and I believe that the Bible is the inerrant Word of God. I also believe that God gives us free will to live our lives and I am thankful for His grace each and every day that is given to me freely so that I can remain in relationship with Him even when I screw up beyond belief. I am not gay, I haven't cheated on my husband of 19 years, nor have I owned slaves. I have however sinned by saying things that don't always lift people up, I've gossiped before (*not a reference to my recent life change!), I weigh 80 pounds more than I should (not a particularly popular sin with lots of pastors here in the south!) and I've certainly had hateful thoughts before. I love all people - gay, straight, black, white, whatever and I hope that you two know me well enough to know that is true! I believe that everyone was/is created equally, but what we choose to do with our lives and how we choose to live is completely up to us. I believe that there are many things in popular culture that go against God's will, but I believe that His grace is enough to cover anything. Now onto the topic at hand...I think where most Christians get it wrong is that the government isn't here to legislate morality. I don't want them to legislate morality for me or anyone else. Here in the Bible belt I think it can often be difficult for some people to look into the future and see the possibility of a time when the "morality" that may be legislated may require Christians to do things that go against the very core of our beliefs. (A Biblical example of this would be Daniel.) Prayer in school falls into this category. Lots of Christians have strong opinions that public prayer should be allowed in school. My question to them would be, "What if the teacher is Muslim or Buddhist or Hindu or even a Satanist? (We are ignorant to think that can't be.) Would you want those prayers to be made public in school? Is that what you would want your children to hear?" I think the answer would be a resounding "NO!" yet when morality is legislated this is one of the many issues that we will be forced to deal with. I want to live in a country that allows me to worship as I please. To do this, we must also allow others to worship as they please. God will be the judge. No matter how legal or illegal something is, God gets the final say in it all. I feel no threat on my traditional marriage by those who are gay that want to be married. I have lots of gay friends, whether they are legally married, in a civil union together, live together, etc. makes no difference as to whether it is a sin or not. Being married doesn't make it any more or less of a sin. 

I would love to read your comments if you feel like sharing!  

I'll be blogging again soon!  I have some stuff I want to say about a few things - as usual!!!