When LeBron left the Cavs I lost a lot of respect for him. Prior to that I was a huge fan. I had seen several interviews with him and I really liked him. I was really turned off by the way he handled things with leaving the Cavs. Now I'm not so arrogant to think that I know even a fraction of what is involved in the business of moving from one team to the next. So I know there's a lot that I don't know. People like to compare LeBron to Michael Jordan all the time. Who's the better player? I don't think there's an argument there worth discussing really! I know Michael built a team where he was. I think LeBron should have as well. He didn't need a televised decision and all that went along with that, but he's a celebrity. People love the drama of things and that's exactly what LeBron did. He gave the whole basketball community, fans and players alike, some drama for a time. OK - enough about all that and on to Friday night!
Friday night Brian and I went to the Bobcats game against the Heat. We
are season ticket holders so we go to a lot of games. I love NBA
basketball. I know a lot of you don't for whatever reason and that's
fine. I do! I love to watch the benches of the teams. It's exciting to me to see
the players get into the game and I love to see how they interact and
respond to the fans. Sometimes I'll get so wrapped up in watching them
that I miss parts of the game. Friday night was no different. LeBron and Dwayne Wade didn't play. They entered the court late and were greeted with cheers from a packed crowd. They took their seats behind the bench. I enjoyed watching them talk to each other and the other players. The like watching the cool plays just like the rest of us. Sometime in the second half of the game I saw LeBron motion for a security person to come to him. The security guy came over and LeBron turned and pointed into the crowd. I couldn't see what he said, I just saw him pointing. I immediately thought someone was hassling him and he wanted the guy removed. I was wrong! The security guard went about 10 rows up and got this kid and brought him down to LeBron. I saw LeBron introduce him to Dwayne and then LeBron got the kid a folded towel to sit on so he could see over the guys on the bench. It was fun to watch them interact with him for the remainder of the game. It was heartwarming to see all of this transpire. I know that made that kid's night, week, month! There was no one there videoing him do that. He was just being kind. He recognizes his position and influence and he was gracious to a fan. That kid will never forget Friday night and neither will I.
It's sad that we usually don't hear about celebrities doing things like that. We usually just hear the bad. I'm glad I was watching. LeBron you have a fan again.
Monday, April 8, 2013
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Finding The Light
This is just a copy of a blog I posted about a month ago. For some reason it showed up as a new blog site for me instead of my regular blog site. I wanted to be sure it stayed in my Welcome To Wherever You are blog site. There's no new material, just copied and pasted for it to be in the right place.
It's been a really, really long time since I've blogged. I've wanted to for quite awhile now, but I've really had to sit and think about what it is I wanted to say. I have had a major life change in the past few weeks and I didn't want to blog about the details of that, especially not right after it happened. I didn't want my anger in it all to affect my witness for the future. I've had some time to step away from it. I've known that it is important to step outside of any situation and get somewhere that allows me to look at the situation as a whole. That's what I've been trying to do these past three weeks.
I took a week off and didn't listen to any of my favorite pastors - something I usually did every week. I also took a couple of weeks off from attending church. I needed time away. I needed time to let my anger subside. I had been avoiding trying to connect to the hurt of it all - that's not my style. It's easier for me to be pissed about the injustices of any situation instead of seeing the hurt that comes from those injustices. I'm a very passionate person. There are few things in life that I commit to doing without being fully engaged and passionate about it. I just don't see the sense in living that way. I say, "live full-out, that's the only way." I've built protections in my own systems of thinking that make it easier for me to deal with the anger than for me to deal with the pain. The problem with living that way is that it causes a disconnect from the full implications of any situation. There are countless songs about being broken and dealing with hurt. It's funny how it seems like those have been the songs that have randomly come on my radio when I've been in the car lately! I think it's been God's way of trying to tell me that EVERYBODY deals with pain and brokenness. EVERYBODY has to deal with real hurt at some point in their lives. He has shown me, especially these past few days, that to be passionate about something, truly passionate and all that it encompasses, I can't just deal with the anger of it all. I must also deal with the hurt and pain.
I went to two church services on Sunday. Both services had great messages. They both spoke to me in so many ways. I felt God's hand on my shoulder encouraging me to soak in all that was being said. I was listening harder than I think I've ever listened hoping that there would be some words I could take and apply to my situation that would make it all better. I was hoping that I would hear something, miracle words I guess, that would help it all make sense. During the evening service I heard these words: "Sometimes God has to consume our convenience so that we can be consumed with God." WOW - those were the words. Those were the words that I had been needing to hear. They were not the words that I was expecting at all. What I realized though, is that my convenience of my job was actually lessening the time I spent in real worship of God. I had become so wrapped up in the business of it all because that was my job, that rarely was there time for worship. That doesn't mean that I wasn't hearing the Word where I was, I most definitely was. The Word was being preached and praises were being sung, but I wasn't worshiping. I was finding it harder and harder to step away from the work of it all to embrace the worship of it. Things have been becoming clearer and clearer over the past 72 hours.
Now to the hurt of it. People say that the best way to work through problems is by making a pros and cons list. I have been halfway doing that. My cons list was short, not unimportant, but just really short. My pros list was pretty long and most of it was fueled by the anger I have been feeling. Sooooo...today God spoke to me in a way that I found myself completely broken. I listened to a pastor that I listen to on a regular basis. I heard his words of love for the next generation and how important it is for us as people and as a church to invest in the next generation. I listened as he talked about being an Eli. For those of you who read this and don't know about Eli and Samuel, read 1 Samuel 3. As I listened to the message, I realized that the real hurt in all of it was the people I would no longer have an influence over. I realized that this summer I won't be directing a youth camp for 60 kids that I love and care for. I've poured my heart and soul into that camp for the past 3 years. I'm good at that! I love those kids. I've found the balance between being their leader and being their friend which can oftentimes that's a hard balance to figure out. I know my most fulfilling times are when I am with those kids. I'm an Eli to them. It hurts to know that someone else will fill my shoes there this summer. Someone else will fill my shoes each Sunday morning standing on the patio welcoming people with a warm smile that comes from the heart. This is my broken place. They finished the service this week with a video and someone was singing the Pretenders song "I'll Stand By You." I would guess that when Chrissie Hynde, Tom Kelly and Billy Steinberg wrote that song they never imagined that it would close a church service. It spoke to me today. I could hear Jesus saying those words to me.
Now the real healing starts. Today is a good day. I have real perspective on the situation. Am I still angry? Of course I am. Do I think the situation was handled in the way it should have been? Of course I don't. But do I see God in all of it? I do today! God has provided me hugs and encouragement everyday for the past three weeks. People have reached out to me by the dozens. Their words have meant so much to me. I've felt affirmed in those words. I've felt love in those words. I am eternally grateful for the support and encouragement. Life is good for the Porters. People keep asking how we are. We are good! Life moves on and seasons come and go. This season of my life has come to an end. It's been like autumn ending and winter came these past three weeks! They have been hell, but spring is here and new things are growing! It's been sad, but now it's exciting! You hear over and over that God doesn't give us more than we can handle. I don't think that's true at all! Bad things happen, hurt happens and through it all God wants us to need Him. He wants us to turn to Him for help. He wants us to realize we can't do it on our own. It takes Him! That's the sweet spot! I hope all of you find the sweet spot! I'll close with the lyrics to the Pretenders song. I hope in some way it ministers to you as it did me! Welcome to wherever you are!
Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
'cause I've seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
So if you're mad, get mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I'm a lot like you
When you're standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
'cause even if you're wrong
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
And when...
When the night falls on you, baby
You're feeling all alone
You won't be on your own
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
It's been a really, really long time since I've blogged. I've wanted to for quite awhile now, but I've really had to sit and think about what it is I wanted to say. I have had a major life change in the past few weeks and I didn't want to blog about the details of that, especially not right after it happened. I didn't want my anger in it all to affect my witness for the future. I've had some time to step away from it. I've known that it is important to step outside of any situation and get somewhere that allows me to look at the situation as a whole. That's what I've been trying to do these past three weeks.
I took a week off and didn't listen to any of my favorite pastors - something I usually did every week. I also took a couple of weeks off from attending church. I needed time away. I needed time to let my anger subside. I had been avoiding trying to connect to the hurt of it all - that's not my style. It's easier for me to be pissed about the injustices of any situation instead of seeing the hurt that comes from those injustices. I'm a very passionate person. There are few things in life that I commit to doing without being fully engaged and passionate about it. I just don't see the sense in living that way. I say, "live full-out, that's the only way." I've built protections in my own systems of thinking that make it easier for me to deal with the anger than for me to deal with the pain. The problem with living that way is that it causes a disconnect from the full implications of any situation. There are countless songs about being broken and dealing with hurt. It's funny how it seems like those have been the songs that have randomly come on my radio when I've been in the car lately! I think it's been God's way of trying to tell me that EVERYBODY deals with pain and brokenness. EVERYBODY has to deal with real hurt at some point in their lives. He has shown me, especially these past few days, that to be passionate about something, truly passionate and all that it encompasses, I can't just deal with the anger of it all. I must also deal with the hurt and pain.
I went to two church services on Sunday. Both services had great messages. They both spoke to me in so many ways. I felt God's hand on my shoulder encouraging me to soak in all that was being said. I was listening harder than I think I've ever listened hoping that there would be some words I could take and apply to my situation that would make it all better. I was hoping that I would hear something, miracle words I guess, that would help it all make sense. During the evening service I heard these words: "Sometimes God has to consume our convenience so that we can be consumed with God." WOW - those were the words. Those were the words that I had been needing to hear. They were not the words that I was expecting at all. What I realized though, is that my convenience of my job was actually lessening the time I spent in real worship of God. I had become so wrapped up in the business of it all because that was my job, that rarely was there time for worship. That doesn't mean that I wasn't hearing the Word where I was, I most definitely was. The Word was being preached and praises were being sung, but I wasn't worshiping. I was finding it harder and harder to step away from the work of it all to embrace the worship of it. Things have been becoming clearer and clearer over the past 72 hours.
Now to the hurt of it. People say that the best way to work through problems is by making a pros and cons list. I have been halfway doing that. My cons list was short, not unimportant, but just really short. My pros list was pretty long and most of it was fueled by the anger I have been feeling. Sooooo...today God spoke to me in a way that I found myself completely broken. I listened to a pastor that I listen to on a regular basis. I heard his words of love for the next generation and how important it is for us as people and as a church to invest in the next generation. I listened as he talked about being an Eli. For those of you who read this and don't know about Eli and Samuel, read 1 Samuel 3. As I listened to the message, I realized that the real hurt in all of it was the people I would no longer have an influence over. I realized that this summer I won't be directing a youth camp for 60 kids that I love and care for. I've poured my heart and soul into that camp for the past 3 years. I'm good at that! I love those kids. I've found the balance between being their leader and being their friend which can oftentimes that's a hard balance to figure out. I know my most fulfilling times are when I am with those kids. I'm an Eli to them. It hurts to know that someone else will fill my shoes there this summer. Someone else will fill my shoes each Sunday morning standing on the patio welcoming people with a warm smile that comes from the heart. This is my broken place. They finished the service this week with a video and someone was singing the Pretenders song "I'll Stand By You." I would guess that when Chrissie Hynde, Tom Kelly and Billy Steinberg wrote that song they never imagined that it would close a church service. It spoke to me today. I could hear Jesus saying those words to me.
Now the real healing starts. Today is a good day. I have real perspective on the situation. Am I still angry? Of course I am. Do I think the situation was handled in the way it should have been? Of course I don't. But do I see God in all of it? I do today! God has provided me hugs and encouragement everyday for the past three weeks. People have reached out to me by the dozens. Their words have meant so much to me. I've felt affirmed in those words. I've felt love in those words. I am eternally grateful for the support and encouragement. Life is good for the Porters. People keep asking how we are. We are good! Life moves on and seasons come and go. This season of my life has come to an end. It's been like autumn ending and winter came these past three weeks! They have been hell, but spring is here and new things are growing! It's been sad, but now it's exciting! You hear over and over that God doesn't give us more than we can handle. I don't think that's true at all! Bad things happen, hurt happens and through it all God wants us to need Him. He wants us to turn to Him for help. He wants us to realize we can't do it on our own. It takes Him! That's the sweet spot! I hope all of you find the sweet spot! I'll close with the lyrics to the Pretenders song. I hope in some way it ministers to you as it did me! Welcome to wherever you are!
Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
'cause I've seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
So if you're mad, get mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I'm a lot like you
When you're standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
'cause even if you're wrong
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
And when...
When the night falls on you, baby
You're feeling all alone
You won't be on your own
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
A Quick Thought
Tonight I was reading through my Facebook feed which is normal behavior for me. I started reading through the posts and came across one from a friend of mine that had a ton of comments. The topic was gay marriage. I read through each comment. There were posts supporting both sides. A few people were yelling (you know-typing in all caps) at each other. They called each other racist, which had nothing to do with the post. From them, things got a little ridiculous, but the other comments were really good. I finally responded (of course you know I can't keep my mouth shut!) I thought I would copy those thoughts into my blog just in case anyone cared what I thought about it! So here you go:
So I wasn't going to weigh in, but you (I've left the names out) know me well enough to know that I can rarely keep my mouth shut so here's my two cents...I'll start by saying that I am a "born again Christian" and I believe that the Bible is the inerrant Word of God. I also believe that God gives us free will to live our lives and I am thankful for His grace each and every day that is given to me freely so that I can remain in relationship with Him even when I screw up beyond belief. I am not gay, I haven't cheated on my husband of 19 years, nor have I owned slaves. I have however sinned by saying things that don't always lift people up, I've gossiped before (*not a reference to my recent life change!), I weigh 80 pounds more than I should (not a particularly popular sin with lots of pastors here in the south!) and I've certainly had hateful thoughts before. I love all people - gay, straight, black, white, whatever and I hope that you two know me well enough to know that is true! I believe that everyone was/is created equally, but what we choose to do with our lives and how we choose to live is completely up to us. I believe that there are many things in popular culture that go against God's will, but I believe that His grace is enough to cover anything. Now onto the topic at hand...I think where most Christians get it wrong is that the government isn't here to legislate morality. I don't want them to legislate morality for me or anyone else. Here in the Bible belt I think it can often be difficult for some people to look into the future and see the possibility of a time when the "morality" that may be legislated may require Christians to do things that go against the very core of our beliefs. (A Biblical example of this would be Daniel.) Prayer in school falls into this category. Lots of Christians have strong opinions that public prayer should be allowed in school. My question to them would be, "What if the teacher is Muslim or Buddhist or Hindu or even a Satanist? (We are ignorant to think that can't be.) Would you want those prayers to be made public in school? Is that what you would want your children to hear?" I think the answer would be a resounding "NO!" yet when morality is legislated this is one of the many issues that we will be forced to deal with. I want to live in a country that allows me to worship as I please. To do this, we must also allow others to worship as they please. God will be the judge. No matter how legal or illegal something is, God gets the final say in it all. I feel no threat on my traditional marriage by those who are gay that want to be married. I have lots of gay friends, whether they are legally married, in a civil union together, live together, etc. makes no difference as to whether it is a sin or not. Being married doesn't make it any more or less of a sin.
I would love to read your comments if you feel like sharing!
I'll be blogging again soon! I have some stuff I want to say about a few things - as usual!!!
So I wasn't going to weigh in, but you (I've left the names out) know me well enough to know that I can rarely keep my mouth shut so here's my two cents...I'll start by saying that I am a "born again Christian" and I believe that the Bible is the inerrant Word of God. I also believe that God gives us free will to live our lives and I am thankful for His grace each and every day that is given to me freely so that I can remain in relationship with Him even when I screw up beyond belief. I am not gay, I haven't cheated on my husband of 19 years, nor have I owned slaves. I have however sinned by saying things that don't always lift people up, I've gossiped before (*not a reference to my recent life change!), I weigh 80 pounds more than I should (not a particularly popular sin with lots of pastors here in the south!) and I've certainly had hateful thoughts before. I love all people - gay, straight, black, white, whatever and I hope that you two know me well enough to know that is true! I believe that everyone was/is created equally, but what we choose to do with our lives and how we choose to live is completely up to us. I believe that there are many things in popular culture that go against God's will, but I believe that His grace is enough to cover anything. Now onto the topic at hand...I think where most Christians get it wrong is that the government isn't here to legislate morality. I don't want them to legislate morality for me or anyone else. Here in the Bible belt I think it can often be difficult for some people to look into the future and see the possibility of a time when the "morality" that may be legislated may require Christians to do things that go against the very core of our beliefs. (A Biblical example of this would be Daniel.) Prayer in school falls into this category. Lots of Christians have strong opinions that public prayer should be allowed in school. My question to them would be, "What if the teacher is Muslim or Buddhist or Hindu or even a Satanist? (We are ignorant to think that can't be.) Would you want those prayers to be made public in school? Is that what you would want your children to hear?" I think the answer would be a resounding "NO!" yet when morality is legislated this is one of the many issues that we will be forced to deal with. I want to live in a country that allows me to worship as I please. To do this, we must also allow others to worship as they please. God will be the judge. No matter how legal or illegal something is, God gets the final say in it all. I feel no threat on my traditional marriage by those who are gay that want to be married. I have lots of gay friends, whether they are legally married, in a civil union together, live together, etc. makes no difference as to whether it is a sin or not. Being married doesn't make it any more or less of a sin.
I would love to read your comments if you feel like sharing!
I'll be blogging again soon! I have some stuff I want to say about a few things - as usual!!!
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Been Thinking
I've refrained from blogging for quite awhile. I've discovered that I am prone to offend people and so I've tried to keep a lot of thoughts and comments to myself. It's funny to me that for most of my life I've either been called a leader or a rebel. I would assume that whoever it is I'm leading must be too! It's hard for me to understand the offended. If I don't like something I stay away from it. I'm not one who gets offended. If you are I would recommend that you defriend me on Facebook, unfollow me on Twitter and stop reading this now! My goal in life isn't to offend, but to simply be me. I'm ok with you disagreeing with me. Differences in opinion help make the world go round. I love people and I want people to love me and with that comes some odd thoughts and feelings and a whole lot of opinion on things.
Enough about that and on to the main point of this blog. A friend of mine tweeted a quote from John Maxwell earlier this week. John Maxwell is a brilliant man. He's an evangelical pastor, author and speaker. He has written very successful books on leadership. I, in no way, would even begin to claim to know more than he or claim to be an expert on leadership, but I think he has this particular statement wrong. The quote is, "The higher up the leadership ladder, the lonelier it gets." My response to the post was that it was an interesting thought. I've been thinking on that for a couple of days now and I'll tell you my thoughts.
Basically, I don't think it has to be that way. I think it has to do with the way a person leads and the kind of person he/she is. Leaders who are lonely have lost who they are as a person. They've lost sight of what makes them them. Obviously we all change, but I think our core - what makes us tick -remains somewhat constant. Over time leaders bend towards pleasing and try to become what the followers want and need instead of staying true to themselves and who God made them to be. Therefore when they get to the top, they can't have anyone close because then someone may actually see them for who they are. Their "cover" may be blown.
Another reason that leaders are lonely at the top is that often times they've stepped on heads to get there. Once they are at the top the people they've used don't want to be around them anymore.
I think if you polled non-Christians asking them what their biggest problem with Christian leaders is, they would tell you that it's the hypocrisy in the Christian's life. They put on a front out in the open, but behind closed doors they are a different person. I think often times the hypocrisy exists because of the legalistic attitude that Christians have. Christians have determined and set their own standards instead of sticking to the standards in God's word. Therefore leaders feel like they have to succumb to those legalistic ways instead of taking a stand and helping to make a change. As long as we as Christians continue to pretend to be one way when we aren't we will always be berated by non-Christians. Christian leaders must start being the change.
Leaders are also lonely because they aren't willing to jump in and get their hands dirty anymore. They leave that to those under them. They find ways to be "busy" instead of getting in the trenches with the masses to get the job done. When this happens they lose the respect of those they are leading. The following becomes out of some sort of obligation instead of truly being lead.
Bon Jovi (of course you know I can always find a way to bring them in!!!) sings a song called "Lonely At the Top." It's a song that Jon and Richie wrote to Frances Bean Cobain, the daughter of Kurt Cobain. It's a beautiful song that was written as if Kurt was telling her these things. I think Kurt lost sight of who he really was and he couldn't get it back. Here are some of the lyrics:
I was jaded, suffocated, it got too hard to breath
I never got as high as I needed to be
You know life becomes worthless when they steal your dreams
I just couldn't live with what was left for me
And I couldn't run far enough from the truth, what's the use…
You know life becomes worthless when they steal your dreams
I just couldn't live with what was left for me
And I couldn't run far enough from the truth, what's the use…
Before you know you find yourself alone and looking down
No one there can help you stop before you hit the ground
It's lonely at the top…
Didn't mean to leave you all alone but then the music died
Though the song remains the same, I couldn't live that lie…
I love that song. It's a very sad, tender song. I never want to lead if the cost is that I lose myself along the way. God made me unique and special. I want to always be true to myself and who He made me to be. As long as I do those things, no matter whether I'm a leader or a followerer I'll always have people, the ones who truly get me, by my side.
So those are my thoughts on the John Maxwell quote. I would love your thoughts on the topic as well!
Enough about that and on to the main point of this blog. A friend of mine tweeted a quote from John Maxwell earlier this week. John Maxwell is a brilliant man. He's an evangelical pastor, author and speaker. He has written very successful books on leadership. I, in no way, would even begin to claim to know more than he or claim to be an expert on leadership, but I think he has this particular statement wrong. The quote is, "The higher up the leadership ladder, the lonelier it gets." My response to the post was that it was an interesting thought. I've been thinking on that for a couple of days now and I'll tell you my thoughts.
Basically, I don't think it has to be that way. I think it has to do with the way a person leads and the kind of person he/she is. Leaders who are lonely have lost who they are as a person. They've lost sight of what makes them them. Obviously we all change, but I think our core - what makes us tick -remains somewhat constant. Over time leaders bend towards pleasing and try to become what the followers want and need instead of staying true to themselves and who God made them to be. Therefore when they get to the top, they can't have anyone close because then someone may actually see them for who they are. Their "cover" may be blown.
Another reason that leaders are lonely at the top is that often times they've stepped on heads to get there. Once they are at the top the people they've used don't want to be around them anymore.
I think if you polled non-Christians asking them what their biggest problem with Christian leaders is, they would tell you that it's the hypocrisy in the Christian's life. They put on a front out in the open, but behind closed doors they are a different person. I think often times the hypocrisy exists because of the legalistic attitude that Christians have. Christians have determined and set their own standards instead of sticking to the standards in God's word. Therefore leaders feel like they have to succumb to those legalistic ways instead of taking a stand and helping to make a change. As long as we as Christians continue to pretend to be one way when we aren't we will always be berated by non-Christians. Christian leaders must start being the change.
Leaders are also lonely because they aren't willing to jump in and get their hands dirty anymore. They leave that to those under them. They find ways to be "busy" instead of getting in the trenches with the masses to get the job done. When this happens they lose the respect of those they are leading. The following becomes out of some sort of obligation instead of truly being lead.
Bon Jovi (of course you know I can always find a way to bring them in!!!) sings a song called "Lonely At the Top." It's a song that Jon and Richie wrote to Frances Bean Cobain, the daughter of Kurt Cobain. It's a beautiful song that was written as if Kurt was telling her these things. I think Kurt lost sight of who he really was and he couldn't get it back. Here are some of the lyrics:
I was jaded, suffocated, it got too hard to breath
I never got as high as I needed to be
You know life becomes worthless when they steal your dreams
I just couldn't live with what was left for me
And I couldn't run far enough from the truth, what's the use…
You know life becomes worthless when they steal your dreams
I just couldn't live with what was left for me
And I couldn't run far enough from the truth, what's the use…
Before you know you find yourself alone and looking down
No one there can help you stop before you hit the ground
It's lonely at the top…
Didn't mean to leave you all alone but then the music died
Though the song remains the same, I couldn't live that lie…
I love that song. It's a very sad, tender song. I never want to lead if the cost is that I lose myself along the way. God made me unique and special. I want to always be true to myself and who He made me to be. As long as I do those things, no matter whether I'm a leader or a followerer I'll always have people, the ones who truly get me, by my side.
So those are my thoughts on the John Maxwell quote. I would love your thoughts on the topic as well!
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
It's My Birthday!
I haven't blogged in forever. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep up with it! I'm going to try to get back on track! School is out for me for the summer. I'll finally be a junior (not bad for 36!) I can't believe I'm in my last year of my mid 30's. Next year I'll be in my late 30's. Where has the time gone? It really does amaze me how time moves on. You would think I would be used to it. I love change and watching the progression of things, but when I think of my own life moving on it just gets weird for me.
I've never missed my Florida friends and my dear Florida friends residing in WV as much as I have the past two months. I want more than anything to be at the beach with my toes in the sand and a cool ocean breeze blowing. Oh well, maybe another day!
Basketball season ended for the boys and me. It was so much fun. I love being in the gym. Andy Poplin runs a fantastic program and I appreciate him allowing me to have a part in it all. He's awesome!
I've had a lot of thoughts about a lot of things lately. Haven't slept well in months. More about that later.
The kids walked in the door! Time to be Mom!
Hope everyone has a great week!
I've never missed my Florida friends and my dear Florida friends residing in WV as much as I have the past two months. I want more than anything to be at the beach with my toes in the sand and a cool ocean breeze blowing. Oh well, maybe another day!
Basketball season ended for the boys and me. It was so much fun. I love being in the gym. Andy Poplin runs a fantastic program and I appreciate him allowing me to have a part in it all. He's awesome!
I've had a lot of thoughts about a lot of things lately. Haven't slept well in months. More about that later.
The kids walked in the door! Time to be Mom!
Hope everyone has a great week!
Monday, January 24, 2011
Monday's Mindsweep
I've had a lot on my mind lately. Some of it I'll just keep there, but some things I'd like to share. First, a little about my weekend. Brian and I went to see The Dilemma. I thought it was really funny and sad too! It reminded me of the consequences of our decisions. We put people in horrible predicaments sometimes. ALL of our decisions have consequences and often times it is those we love the most that pay the price.
Saturday the kids had school. Brian and I went and exchanged my glasses and I got some really sweet Ray-Bans. They may not be for everyone, but the are definitely for me!
Saturday night I had a basketball game. My girls lost, but I think they had fun. Lennon had a game too. I've never seen a 7/8 boys game where a kid goes to the ER in an ambulance, but it happened. I think he cut his head and probably needed stitches. I'm not really sure.
Sunday we had an awesome day at church. Jimmy preached on giving. It was a great message on the feeding of the 5,000. I've heard that preached on so many times, but this time he brought up points I had never thought about. One of the questions he asked was, "Do you think a little boy's lunch was the only lunch there or do you think there was a man with a man size lunch there?" Of course the answer is there probably was a man sized lunch. The difference is that the little boy offered what he had to be used in ways only God could use it. He didn't wait until he had more food, he gave what he had. God used it EXPONENTIALLY! He wants to do the same for what we have; all we have to do is offer it to Him. I encourage you to always listen with fresh ears. You never know what you may hear.
I've been thinking a lot about openness and honesty in relationships. I've already blogged about expectations so I won't go into how that can ruin relationships, but I think the biggest problem these days is secretiveness. I want to be clear that I'm not blogging this about Brian and I! I don't want any of you to get the wrong idea! I've just been thinking about these things. We have a society that secretiveness can happen so easily. We can text without anyone knowing it. We can even text to people in the same room as us about someone else in the room with us and they would never know. We have social sites and email accounts where we can receive private messages. I wonder how much the divorce rate has gone up because of Facebook - we reconnect with people from the past, send private messages and before you know it a marriage is ruined. When I started thinking about this, I realized that I have passwords on my Facebook and emails and that Brian may not know them. I emailed him at that moment to give him my passwords - keeps me accountable and everything in the open! It's not a problem for us, I just decided to do it. I hope that you will all check your relationships - marriage, friends, family, etc. and make sure that you are being honest in all you do! Life will be better for it!
Enough for now, gotta run to basketball practice. Hope you got something from my mindsweep! Thanks for reading!
Saturday the kids had school. Brian and I went and exchanged my glasses and I got some really sweet Ray-Bans. They may not be for everyone, but the are definitely for me!
Sunday we had an awesome day at church. Jimmy preached on giving. It was a great message on the feeding of the 5,000. I've heard that preached on so many times, but this time he brought up points I had never thought about. One of the questions he asked was, "Do you think a little boy's lunch was the only lunch there or do you think there was a man with a man size lunch there?" Of course the answer is there probably was a man sized lunch. The difference is that the little boy offered what he had to be used in ways only God could use it. He didn't wait until he had more food, he gave what he had. God used it EXPONENTIALLY! He wants to do the same for what we have; all we have to do is offer it to Him. I encourage you to always listen with fresh ears. You never know what you may hear.
I've been thinking a lot about openness and honesty in relationships. I've already blogged about expectations so I won't go into how that can ruin relationships, but I think the biggest problem these days is secretiveness. I want to be clear that I'm not blogging this about Brian and I! I don't want any of you to get the wrong idea! I've just been thinking about these things. We have a society that secretiveness can happen so easily. We can text without anyone knowing it. We can even text to people in the same room as us about someone else in the room with us and they would never know. We have social sites and email accounts where we can receive private messages. I wonder how much the divorce rate has gone up because of Facebook - we reconnect with people from the past, send private messages and before you know it a marriage is ruined. When I started thinking about this, I realized that I have passwords on my Facebook and emails and that Brian may not know them. I emailed him at that moment to give him my passwords - keeps me accountable and everything in the open! It's not a problem for us, I just decided to do it. I hope that you will all check your relationships - marriage, friends, family, etc. and make sure that you are being honest in all you do! Life will be better for it!
Enough for now, gotta run to basketball practice. Hope you got something from my mindsweep! Thanks for reading!
Friday, January 21, 2011
Aerosmith Amazing Lyrics
The other day I posted a status update that said, "If you are hoping for something unexpected does that make it expected?" I was a little surprised that there was no conversation that followed.
Usually when I am at my lowest it is because of expectations that I have put on others. Most of the time they have had no idea of those expectations. I usually rationalized those thoughts by convincing myself that those expectations are just a common sense way to do things. I am always the one who ends up disappointed and typically angry.
I'm trying these days to live with no expectations. That's really hard to do. I don't want the unexpected to become the expected! I love surprises and rarely get them, but when I do, I don't want to think in the back of my mind "that's what should've happened!"
So here's to a day with no expectations!
I love this song! Hope you enjoy it too!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)